It was back in my pre-Univ days, the days of CET preparation. (For the non acquainted, CET is a Common Entrance Test for courses in Engg or Medicine, here). Amidst all the hustle bustle, I forgot all about CET and saw myself in a quest for the Ultimate Truth. I'll write about my journey through it, and my conclusions, sometime later. I call it 'The Cry'. (There are reasons for calling it that way. Some of the readers know it)
I hate going into the 'Philosophy mode' (for more reasons than what you may scavenge out of this post). But, recently, when I saw a post on RKat's blog, it sorta kicked back in. He was of the opininion that being philosophically minded, and having abstract desires rather than material ones is superior.(this was in the comments section)
But..... I somehow feel that its the other way round. To me, its a torment when I look at anything beautiful...... Why do I find it beautiful? Is it beautiful indeed, or is it something in MY mind?........ When I feel I'm in love....... what is this feeling? Is it just a series of hormones rushing? ............. when I'm happy about something........ what is this feeling of happiness? Does it mean anything at all?......... When I'm totally surrounded with pleasures, this drive of questioning sets in and kills all the joy, a joy I dunno the purpose for.......... 'What is happiness?'....... 'Why do I need to be happy?'.......... These questions haunt me whenever I'm enjoying something. So..... doesnt a 'mere mortal' (by others' standards) enjoy life better than me?
In reply to that, some say - "A 'mere mortal' enjoys only 'trivial' material pleasures". But, the philosopher's 'abstract' and 'superior' pleasures appear to be equally 'trivial' to me. After all,...... what is the purpose of this questioning of the world we see around? Will it take us ANYWHERE? Does it serve a 'superior' purpose? I dont know! However, I cannot go back to the care-free state I was in before. I want to be that mere mortal.... but dammit I cant! I just try to shut this m0de off as quickly as I can, before I get conched by the ghastly pictures it portrays.
I usually dont spread my philosophies....... coz, if I convince someone of it,........ then he too will get into this sorry state..... or even worse! So, my advice is.......... stay off this philosophical shit! Once u get into it by your free volition, there's NO WAY OUT.
Ok.... the post is getting long! I'll save some shit for later!
Current Mood : Brave! Trying to face 'The Cry'
Currently listening to : Spaceship Earth - Shiryu (I LOVE his music)