Yesterday, I was helping my bro scan for some missing document in the almirah. We decided to empty the whole thing and reorganize. Doing it was a hectic job, even more so, when everything reminded me of mom. Her sarees, her bangles, the sweet li'l way she had categorized and labelled all stuff in the almirah, the li'l pouch in which she would keep her soap, oil, talc and all, the pleasant smell arising from the pouch................... all this would go away now.......... Although I used to fight with her quite often, all the things she sacrificed for us, comes to mind.
It all reminds me of that day..... when we were trying to wake her up...... Somehow...... I feel guilty.... probably I could have saved her...... Her heart had stopped, but the body was quite warm. I could have done the emergency forced pump. I knew how to do it.... But it didnt flash amidst the trauma. This will stay in my mind.... "I could have saved her". Even before that..... the previous night, when she was very sick, I did not pay much attention to her, as I was preparing for the damned mock Practical exam....... Had I done enough to take care of her? But little did I know that it would turn this way... But still.... Am I justified?
Somebody in my guestbook says that my blog is like a soap opera. If at all it is, it is because my life IS like a soap opera.
Current mood : Nostalgic
Currently listening to : Like Humans Do - David Byrne (Yes I like that song, even though it came free with WinXP)