Waiting......

Alone.......... in the road of life.....
Waiting for something........ waiting for someone ........
There's greenery around........ yet i look beyond.........
Waiting for something....... waiting for someone........
Ppl have gone ahead....... Im NOT struggling behind......
Im just.... waitin for something...... waiting for someone......


Vini told me that this photo seems to have deeper meaning...... A lonely wanderer looking beyond the greenery, for something unknown. So, modified it to suit what state my life is in right now.

Current mood : Calm and peaceful
Currently listening to : The clickity-click noise of the other ppl typing out stuff in the lab. No songs :(

Overcast

Summer evening........ cool drizzle at a rate of a drop or two a minute....... Sun has set........ twilight....Sipping a cup of lemon tea.......

But the mind is overcast.......... no one to enjoy the drizzle with...... thoughts drowned in darkness..... no search for a ray of light...... the rain just falls and rolls away, failing to cool the already cold self.....

Only the citric tingle is felt........ A surge in salivary secretion dilutes the tingle........... Life goes on...... I take more sips.......... Enjoying the tingle everytime...... But still waiting for something.... something im not sure of..... But the next time will also be yet another citric tingle.......... nothing more........ hopefully nothing less........ But yet i wait for the next sip.......... eager......... even though i know that the saliva will do its job.

Currently listening to : Some crap other ppl are singing around in the lab. No clue wat they r singin. No interest either.
Current mood : Lost.......... trying to find the way back 2 my feet.......... But still lost!

Still Alive! (Most probably)

This post is to remind the blogworld that im still alive..... suffocating... yes, but still alive.

Early Jan, i had gone to Mahabaleshwar, for a seminar on Neuroscience, photos of which are on photos.yahoo.com/i_am_sudhir_p. U can view the other albums there as well. Some pics with some descriptions are also up on my photoblog.

After that, I had to do all work that i had pushed aside 2 go 2 mahabaleshwar..... killing the rest of Jan.... Then, had to roast my neurons into thinking abt an unanswered question in biology, and possible approaches to solving it. This was for applying for Integrated PhD at NCBS. This ate up most of the time in early Feb.... After which, when tryin 2 relax a bit... came the comments of lecturers that i dont attend classes, and that they wudnt let me apply for the final exam.... Got over them with some gimmicks... wasted 1 whole day payin the application fee (for those who live on a better side of the planet : We have to stand in long queues to fill our fees! A shame for a college in silicon valley!)..... And since life always finds a way to pull my leg...., i had to sit and write 4 practical records almost end 2 end. (I still havent completed it though)

Will be goin 2 kerala tomorrow, for performing rites of mom's 1st yr death anniverary. Wil come back with loads of pics.


Currently listening to : In the arms of the angel - Westlife
Current mood : excited (for reasons not evident from the post!)

A year goes by........

........ but it feels that more than a year has passed. Its not that it was boring, but on the contrary, because it was too eventful.

The year started out pretty normally, with a lot of enthu and fun, and someone occupying my thoughts.

But, when life was pretty smooth, on Feb 15, mom died.... rendering me in a strange mode for quite some time. It wasn't the awfully-sad kinda mode.... it was strange...sad although, but strange......plain strange!

Then the camera entered my life........ making life seem positive. I spent my time clickin away at anything and everything..... making me realize the hidden beauty in 'anything and everything'

And the someone-occupying-thoughts thingy happened more oft. During summer however, a fact jolted my 'occupied' state, that the someone occupying my thoughts, was occupying someone else's thoughts too. I had to force the 'someone' to stop occupying my thoughts. Did some strange things to do so, including forcing someone else to occupy the thoughts.

I started socializing more, trying to do away with the geeky image attached to me. Made quite a few new friends. Ppl figured out that I'm not as scary as they thought i was.

I got a bio project at NCBS. But actually desired a Physics project elsewhere. But as things went on, I felt that I wudnt wanna trade my project for anything......... great project......... great place...... great people.

Began feeling nice about the someone who had newly entered my thoughts.... only for some time. But it seemed, it didnt click.... that person had some probs with it..... Later realized that, it was indeed a strange way things were goin on .........Few weeks.... happy to have thoughts being occupied by no one. Then later realized that I was on the right track...... I actually shudnt have anyone in my thoughts........ coz if it clicked, the future of that person wud be pretty drab.

Went on a college trip to Munnar. (Oh! I havent finished my blog post on that yet!) Enjoyed a lot. This would be the last trip of its kind(No more college after this yr). Became a lot more social person as well (Even a 1% is great thing for one who is at 0.237%).

Won quite a lot of prizes at inter-collegiate fests. (Oops! I was supposed to give parties for this.... which I have almost forgotten abt!)

Project at NCBS goes ahead with a lot of zeal. I also read a lot of interesting books........ novels, science, math and all da crap i could lay hands on.

And with the year almost coming to a close, having no sign of anything spectacular at the end, suddenly, there's this heart pricking me, with someone who's occupying the mind again. But, this time, I just push it out before thinking much. The heart does tingle at the thought of the person, but I am more firm this time round. I have decided to stay alone........... not because of kiddish notions, but because of sheer concern towards that person. And i guess it will remain this way from here on!

Overall, a rollercoaster ride........ I dont regret the bad times....... I like the sour tastes that life feeds me....... and I can enjoy it even if there weren't the sweet bits in between.

Wish all of ya a HAPPY NEW YEAR. And wish me another roller-coaster year.....

Current mood: sullen, yet mellow (probably due to a sadistic impulse)
Currently listening to: King of Pain - Sting

My blog's 1.342-th birthday!

Saw Sangeeta's blog celebrating its 1st birthday, which reminded me that my blog was quite as old too. I went and looked into my first post, which was on August 5th 2004........... Alas! I missed out on celebrating my blog's first birthday! So, the next best thing I could do was to celebrate its 1.342-th B'day.

Had a look at all the stuff I had posted, coasting through times..... some happy ones and some pensive..... some light and many busy ones. I havent been regular in posting stuff, and I am rather happy about that.... it shows that I was busy doin somethin more important!

Anyway, I'm gonna hog something on the ocassion now! And some music as well! Partayy!

Looking forward to my photoblog's B'day as well, which is still faaaaaar away!

Current mood : Partayyyy!
Current music : Life is a rollercoaster - Ronan Keating