Running in the rain......

The first ever bangalore ultramarathon(80 km run) is on Dec 16th.... Started practisin a few days back...... Started slowly increasing the distance im running day by day....... But today was different....... It was drizzlin strongly when i started....... Soon my spectacles got completely crowded by the enormous number of raindrops that were pushing each other to stay on it....... Realized i was better off without the glasses..... Soon, the mighty drizzle turned into a downpour, as has been the case in bangalore for quite a few days...... I continue running further, enjoying the rain hittin my face...... sipping the few drops hiitin my mouth...... I wanted to face the elements raw...... Here i was, running at my normal pace, as if there were no rain at all.......

I felt proud...... I feel good abt not going to dance classes (salsa, waltz, tango etc. which i had enrolled to earlier) and doing running instead...... I can get lost in running..... and especially with perks like raindrops darting at ur face...... Salsa cant give me all this! Especially since i am and will be single, at least for a long while...... I stop regretting my decision of quitting learning dance..... It was fun dancing, but not involving enough...... Why the hell am i thinking so much abt it? Enjoy the rain, dumbo!......

I recollect an older blog post of mine, as im writing this...... The crux of it is still relevant now..... But i prefer a re-rendition accurate to my current situation:

A new horizon appeared, much after i was lost thinking abt the old....
It came so close, that i kissed it.....
I was swept by it.......
I found my reason to run......
I found a direction to run......
But it fell quicker than it rose.......
One quick hit...... and im limping again........
I came close to stopping......

But, i pick up speed and run again......
I run...... Not because i love to......
I run...... because i chose to......
To stop...... im no longer scared to, but i chose not to.....

I run..... reasons unknown....
I run..... reasons i dont wanna know......
I run..... in all directions......
I run..... to reach nowhere.......

The mind no longer seeks the horizon......
Its fast asleep..... Thinking of nothing..... Thinking of no one.....

I run..... seeking no end

I finish my first 2 kms in 12 mins, my average timing on other normal days........... Am happy n proud..... I head back on the same route to NCBS...... The rain darts at me with even more fervour...... the road now has turned into a river....... I enjoy splashing and running through it....... Cars slow down looking at me......... some are curious........... some jealous........ I am enjoying it..... But running in the water is so much slower...... I dont care abt timings now..... Just enjoy dammit!...... second 2 km takes 15 mins...... pretty ok considering running against the current of water!

I run....... only to run

Current mood: Hungry!
Cuurently listening to: Good bye - James blunt

Muthathi to Sangama : A walk with nature (9th sep 07)

Wanted to do something for the weekend..... Srik had sent an invitation for a trek..... Couldnt squeeze in both sat and sun for it...... Labmates and some friends pressed to go on a trek..... Since one of em, was an absolute amateur, decided to do a simple walk down the jeep track from Muthathi to Sangama....... a nice 20 km stroll along the bank of river cauvery.......

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All surprisingly met relatively on time at ksrtc bus stand........ Bus to Kanakpura....... Kanakpura to Halagur.... Halagur to Muthathi......... Walk from Muthathi........ No sight of Manasa's beloved elephant(s) against her hopes......... walked a bit...... stopped at a spot where the water was shallow and under the shade of trees....... chilled there for a long time......... scared the shit outta manasa by sending some eels at her under water(er... those were my legs)........ realised we chilled out for too long...... would compensate for lost time by sacrificing some nice spots planned for later....... the girls had curfew, so had to reach home before late......

walked along enjoying the forest scents........... and views of the hills...... the rich blue of the sky and the pure white clouds which seemed so near........ Me happy clickin away at everything...... the rest started playing some song-humming n guessing-which-song game, on the move....... i stayed out of it as i wasnt suited for such stuff....... i started thinkin as usual...... Why am i doing this?...... I know i wanted to do srik's trek badly, and i could've somehow squeezed the 2 days required for it....... Moreover srik needed the trek too...... We had lunch after passing Galibore at around 2:30.....

Why? Why am i doing this walk instead of the grueling one srik has in store...... I decide on what to do, thinking subconsciously rather than consciously (as per srik's suggestions)...... But i needed to analyze why my subconsciousness chose to do this..... I realize probably, i wanted to do something, being in the lead..... I wanted to prove to myself that i can lead at least somethin all by myself..... take responsibilities...... All these - things i've never done....... Ahhh! cute looking cloud with another cloud behind it....... Hmmm, but why do i need to take lead and be responsible?..... I can easily choose not to be a leader...... i am a researcher...... all i need to worry abt is my science and my life.... why lead anything?......... Then back to the good ol question....... why life or science?........ Hey, those clouds rising behind the hills looks awesome........ Meanwhile, the others are playing some word game...... i decide to join in instead of pondering abt vainly chasing these questions

A long stretch of walking and photography later..... we were gettin close to sangama...... a little fight with Manasa........ continue walking angrily........ Reached sangama by 5:30 pm...... half an hr late than wat was supposed to be our worst case scenario...... The ksrtc bus was only at 6:30..... was surprised that there were no private buses either...... had to wait, staring at all the ppl there gettin drunk and making ruckus(es)...... I realize, the girls wont reach home by curfew time......... I realize i suck as a leader...... Decide that i wont ever lead as i did not live up to my own expectations...... I dint take the most scenic route, in order to save time and yet couldnt get everyone back in time......

Long ride back home...... curfew girls reach home around 10 pm. two hrs above max-deadline...... face music...... But, they later say they enjoyed the trip and would like to do somethin again....... am glad

Current mood: all enthu abt doing the 80k ultramarathon
Currently listening to: Something in the way - Nirvana

My nerd score!

When i was killin time on the net, i came across this site that tells u whether u r a nerd, based on ur (honest) answering of a list of questions. According to them, here's my score, stats and type:





Ok, im not a semi-geek after all. I am a higher order geek than i thought i was! (Or so they make me believe)

Current mood: Thinkin of trekkin somewhere, but most likely cant go
Currently listening to: Vermillion Pt.2 - Slipknot

ncbs (and dbs) entrance exams

I see from StatCounter that there are few ppl coming to my blog, with 'ncbs' as a search string. I presume its all in the entrance exam preparation fever. I do not want them to go back disappointed. Also, i have also been receiving orkut scraps and emails from my juniors and other ppl asking abt the entrances. So, i thought it would be nice to write a post on it and direct everyone here. I am writing this in a FAQ style (more or less because i can directly flick from some of my mails ;)

Note: All these have been written based on my (and my co-interview-mates') experience of the Integrated PhD selection of the 2006 batch (there could have been changes since then). I faced all the rounds, but did not clear the final round interview. I am currently a Junior Research Fellow at NCBS in Prof. VijayRaghavan's lab, working on developmental neuroscience. Exact project: "Organisation and asssembly of the neuronal network required for walking in Drosophila". Sorry if that sounds neither like greek nor latin

Does ncbs have scope for anything apart from biology? (modified version of the question ppl usually ask me: "I thought u r a physics guy. How come u r in a biology place?") ncbs is a bio institute alright, but biology these days has become interdisciplinary (like almost every other subject). There are interesting fields like Biophysics which need math, computation, physics (of course, the name has it) etc. And stuff like cancer research, cell signalling mechanisms, biological nanotechnology etc require chemistry, biotech and physics knowledge. Neuroscience requires physics and computation. Synthetic systems biology requires biotech, and cell biology knowledge. Population genetics and ecology require biotech, genetics, computation, old style botany-zoology and so on.
So, to put it short...... ncbs is looking for all kinds of ppl from different backgrounds - mathematics, theoretical physics, experimental physicis, biotech, botany, zoology, engineering, computers, chemistry, pharmacy etc. For ppl interested in wildlife conservation, there is a separate entrance for MSc in wildlife. It is an amazing course with field trips to amazing forests throughout India. Almost all students of the last batch won awards in international conferences last year)

What are the different stages in the selection process?
1. Entrance test (usually on the first or second sunday of dec)
2. Write-up submission (jan-feb)
3. First round interview(may-june)
4. Final round interview(usually within 1 or 2 days after first round interview)
Note:Until the final interview, the stages are common for both NCBS and DBS, TIFR. The final interview is held such that the DBS and NCBS interviews dont clash. So u can attempt two institutes in one go.

Entrance test: The test paper has four parts carrying 20 marks: 1)General math/aptitude 2)Physics 3)Chemistry 4)Biology. You do not need to be good at ALL the fields. U can easily clear it even if u r rorrible at one field, average at another and reasonably good in other two. (For eg. I was good in general math and Phy, not so good in bio, and horrible in chemistry (i answered only 1 out of 15 questions in chem).
Each part has 10 one mark questions and 5 two-mark questions. All are objective type questions with negative marking(-1/2 and -1 respectively.) (Obviously, the two mark ones are more tricky and hard)

Write-up round: Once u clear the entrance, u will recieve a letter and form from ncbs, which u'll have to fill and send back in about a month or two. Apart from boring details like ur score in exams and other similar crap, there is a section which asks you why u want to join ncbs. This part bears quite some weightage in ur selection. So write it wisely. Dont try to show off too much. Be modest, keep it simple. Dont use too much complicated jargon.
The most important bit they ask u to do is to write a short essay within 300-400 words abt any unanswered question or research topic of ur choice, in biology (It can be stuff thats not done in ncbs too. Or even a whacky field u invent on the spot). U have to describe the question, give some background, and state ur approach to solve it. It can be quite hard to tuck everything in 400 words. Also cite references to strengthen ur points if applicable. Note that u don need to get down to excruciating details. Keep it simple, neat and elegant. Remember that this bit is what carries most importance in this round.
Along with this you will have to get 2 recommendation letters. (General hint: If u have a choice between a renowned person who will give u a below-average reco and a not-renowned person(say, a good lecturer) who's known u for a long while, and will give u a good reco, go for the second option)

First round interview: In the first round interview, students are divided into different batches, who will face different interview panels (probably at random). Each interview panel has three interviewer, usually from different backgrounds. During the interview, they first ask u what is the area which u r comfortable with. This could be Physics, biotech, engg, math.... anything. Make sure that u r really strong in the field that u mention (even if it is not ur favorite). They'll bombard u with questions, and try screwin u up in ur own field of choice. The interviewers will be helpful whenever u r stuck somewhere. Its not whether u answer it that counts, its how u answer it...... ur approach. For anything and everything, keep using the board... write down formulae, draw diagrams to explain, even if they dont prompt u to..... And they'll ask u stuff related to ur write-up, to test ur knowledge in that field. So, it is best if the idea is entirely urs. They can easily figure it out if u r fakin it or if u've flicked it from someone. The results are usually announced on the same day as the interview

Final round interview: You will face a 15 member panel now. This is pretty unnerving initially. With different ppl firing different questions from all sides. Make sure that u say that u dont know something, when u are not strong in that particular field. (I screwed up royallly on this aspect. I said, i was ok with genetics and tried attempting a genetics question thrown at me. I had no clue wat to do. I screwed up). And make sure u keep pushing the questions towards wat u r reallly strong at.

How hard are the entrance and interviews?
I felt the entrance to be simple, moderatrely easy and pretty interesting. There were some simple looking tricky ones, some simple straight forward ones and some difficult looking moderate ones.
The first round was fairly easy for me. So was the final one. But dont get stuck in a field which u r not comfy with. Make sure u r perfect in the field u state to be ur strength.(I also screwed up some phy questions, which i shud've answered).

What should i read to prepare for the exam?
Nothing. Last moment preparation does almost no good in such exams. Just strengthen ur basics in whatever u already know. Its ur overall smartness that will help u clear all rounds, more than just plain knowledge.

What are the different topics people are doing research on at ncbs?
Check out the ncbs website's page on it: http://www.ncbs.res.in/researchncbs/groups.htm

As ppl ask me more, i'll add more here too. And if you have any queries, please drop it in the comments page. I'll answer them as and when i can

Suggestions from others (Thanks to Umesh Mohan): In chemistry, strengthen ur reaction kinetics basics

Cycling to MakaliDurga (29th Jul 2007)

Route: Yelahanka - Rajankunte - Dodballapur - Makalidurga (and the same way back)

After the Nandi cycling expedition, the cycle had been its dilapidated self for a coupla months without attention, partly due to a similar condition of my pockets. But now, I definitely wanted to cycle somewhere on the weekend.... Lots of work pending at lab(NCBS)..... Just freed from the practical exams of my correspondence MSc course...... Theory exams on Aug 10th......Also, still unable to get out of the fact that I’ve been ditched when I was feeling so much for her (still don’t know why she still lingers in my mind)...... After a little confusion of where to go, I decide to go to this place called MakaliDurga (also mis-spelt as maklidurga, thanks to the non-phonetic English), around 15 kms from Dodballapur, which in turn is around 35 kms from my lab (near Yelahanka, Bangalore).... A net distance of around 50 ± 5 km which means a 100 ± 10 km to and fro distance..... Reviews from some blogs (like The Nomad) made me firmly decide on going there..... I then remember that Neha and Ashesh had once ventured to go there. They did reach there, but had to hitch a ride on a lorry on the way back, as they were out of energy and time.... Ahhh, thinking of Neha… the fun time we used to have in the lab.... Of the ever smiling and enthusiastic face no matter how tired she was.... She is the only girl I know who has such stamina to go on long distance cycle treks..... Well, she’s half way across the globe now, barely in touch with sporadic mails, thanks to both of our busy lives.... I somehow feel like dedicating this cycle trip and this post to her, as a mark of honor and memory....

My companions on the journey

Friday evening, after getting cycle repaired (costed me 800 damn bucks due to my negligence), I started packing up

- food (chocolates biscuits and 2.4 litres of bottled mango juice)
- 2.6 litres water
- 2 litres water+2 packets electral (to keep my electrolytes balanced)
- a bicycle pump
- spare tubes (in case of a puncture)
- some wall-tubes and blow-nuts (in case some pranksters flick em off, when parked somewhere and left alone for a long while)
- Relispray (for cramps which I always get very quick, partly because of Marfans syndrome I guess)
- and other basic first aid medication.......


Route all checked up on wikimapia.... Sleep early in the lab itself.... Wake up at 4:30...... Leave NCBS at around 5:30..... I take a short cut to the dodballapur highway.... I keep cycling for around half an hour..... the road thins down to a single lane.... Not too many lorries around.... I reach a bifurcation...... hmmmm, I saw no bifurcation on the map..... eerie..... I see a board that says take right to Sambhram Institute of Technology..... Hey! That should be to the left of dodballapur Road!.... I ask someone.... I realize I’ve gone a long way in the wrong direction..... I have to cycle almost all the way back to yelahanka to get to dodballapur road!.... 6:30 and back to square one..... At last I confirm that im on the right track..... A long butt-wrenching ride later I reach Dodballapur railway station.... Had some amazing onion Bajjis and lemon rice there....

The hills from a distance (If u notice carefully, there are two hills- one behind the other

....Started off again to makali....The road was either bad or under repairs most of the distance right from almost close to Bangalore..... Gave my butt a hard time, especially with its torn seat cover.... Little kids of the villages that I went by were amazed to see a geared cycle with shock absorbers.... Quite a few even asked me to change gears and show them..... some wanted me take photos of them..... by and by, reached Makalidurga railway station around 12 -12:15. Then, a serious butt-whacking ride down the road-in-between-potholes later, reached the deviation to go to the hill....

View from Makalidurga railway station

A ~120 degree panorama of the hills as seen from the highway . The hill to the right is Makalidurga(The stitching hasnt comeout that good as the clouds moved and light conditions changed in the component photos)

Parked cycle at the temple at the base of the hill…… tried ascending based on what I heard from locals there….. went a little distance up….. found a shady spot…… slept until 1:45…. Woke up…. Tried different ways of going up…. Realized that I wont be able to go up and be back in time….. I spot a lake from half way up the hill…… decide to go there…. I descend, take my cycle and head to the lake…… the road is terrrrrrrrible...... I go quite some distance and decide that its better to head back home as it was already 3:00.... Uphill on the terrible road was out of the question, especially with trucks trying to bully u out of the road..... Push it along quite a distance...

The lake and hills beyond when on makalidurga(not on top of it though)

The view from the valley betweeen the two hills

The sun has always been hidden under the clouds so far, except a few peeps now and then…. I feel that there is some mysterious power trying to help me….. Well! What the crap!, this is the rainy season! It is SUPPOSED to be this way…. I shut my fanciful poetic mind and go ahead….. A coupla light drizzles on the way remind me of the ‘SUPPOSED to be this way’ part…. I cycle along enjoying the drizzle….

As i go, the mind gets some room to have its own thoughts. It starts humming a Creed song and connects to my life -
"Who's got my back now?
When all we have left is deceptive
So disconnected
what is the truth now?"
-Who's got my back - Creed

Cycled faster.... concentrated on the road more until totally tired.... stopped for rehydration ... continued to cycle and push intermittently until better roads from maklidurga railway station onwards..... 4:30..... Then started cycling again..... Butt achin realllll hard, and some cramps too..... In between, I meet people who are curious and who ask me where im from, where im going, why am I doing this, blah blah blah..... I give some lame replies which are quite interesting to them….. I wouldn’t be able to convey my thoughts to them.... In their minds, im some guy with amazing grit and determination and big goals and all.... But I know why I’m doing it.... I’m trying to hide away from reality..... I’m tryin to be so involved in something that I forget my immediate surroundings… my work pressure, my academic pressure, my heartbreaks, most of all – the purposelessness of life..... Im somehow coaxing myself to live..... Im trying to be in a total blur that I can no longer think….Do some freaky thing when ur mind haunts you..... Its a weird kinda meditation - to be unable to concentrate on things that bother u

“Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.” — Leo Aikman

….. I reach Dodballapur railway station at around 5:30….. Stop for some coffee…. Start off again….. Some ppl who’ve already seen me there in the morning, ask me the usual where, what, why and all. Then as I talk more ppl gather around curious about this Bangalorean (long haired guy wearing shorts, is enough clue for them to guess that im bangalorean)…. Then there’s a huge crowd surrounding me…. One guy gets me some bananas….. And they all want a pic taken with me….. Gawd! I feel like a celebrity….. Many good wishes later, Im off again, on the long road back to Bangalore....

Fanfare..... (Im holding the bananas they gifted me)

I realize, I’ve totally lost around an hour due to the fanfare so far….. Time is running..... n I need to beat the sun home….. But I know I cant….. Anyway, it gets dark before soon….. I don’t prefer to cycle on the highway at night, especially due to my vision problems….. however, I was just behind a JCB, wich went about cycle-speed. It guarded me against the glare of the hi-beam lamps of incoming vehicles…… Followed it until it stopped somewhere before reaching Bangalore…. Then had to push the cycle a considerable distance before reaching the lab…. Relaxed a while and headed home.... This trip somehow appealed more to me than the nandi trip… probably because of the fanfare..... but most likely due to the destination being nicer…… But, my body wasn’t aching as bad as I expected..... One night’s sleep.... Wake up unable to lift arms and legs....... Satisfied!.... back to sleep!

I realize that the song continues and gives some hope
"Who's got my back now?
When all we have left is deceptive
So disconnected
what is the truth now?

(what is the truth?)

There's still time
All that has been devastated
Can be recreated
Realize
We pick up the broken pieces
Of our lives
Giving ourselves to each other..ourselves to each other
To rest our head on"
Who's got my back - Creed

Current mood: Pressure slightly reduced from wat it was before cycling
Currently listening to: Dekha hai aise bhi - Lucky Ali (Lucky ali songs are perfectly suited for the vagabond moods)