Amidst the clouds

This video was taken atop Thadiandamol, when I had gone on a trek. The photos are on my photoblog: http://roastedphotons.blogspot.com

(Note: The video has no audio)


Current mood: excited about stuff in the near future
Currently listenin to: My world - Sick Puppies

wikimapigation

Off late, I have developed a new hobby: finding an interesting looking location on wikimapia, finding a route to get there, and going cycling to explore the area. Has been a fun hobby so far. Currently limiting myself to a 10 km radius from base point, as i can spare only that much time for it. Will try to make more time as i run out of places to go to.

Current mood: sleepy
Currently listening to: All the same - Sick Puppies

Why crib?

I dunno why, but my blog has turned into a crib blog. Although in a way that few ppl can CLEARLY understand. And i dont want my blog that way! So no more cribs, not even in poetic style!

Current mood : nothing special
Currently listening to : nothing

The horizon...... just much farther away

I knew i could never reach the horizon..... with or without pain......
But yet, i hoped against hope that luck will come my way......
I stare at the horizon longing again........
But as i stare, it moves half the world away.......

I dunno whether i have a heart.....
But i can feel its broken.....
Hiding emotions is a hard art.....
But i suck at it, point taken......

'Certain' people say i'm sweet..... and 'certain others' do not
All i wanted was that the 'certain others' feel me sweet enough
And the 'certain' people to prove that I am not
But, the world these days, even more so - my world, is always tough

I recollect moments when the horizon seemed so close.....
Lost in the gaze, lost in many senses....
I am laughing at them now, yet crying in a corner.....
But life is more than the thorns, and also beyond the rose....

I ask myself whether Im tired of running......
I deny myself an answer, as usual......
I know more and more reasons to stop......

Although to run, couple of temporary reasons are down and gone....
I still am trying to hunt for a reason to run.....
Somebody tell me a reason to stay on......
Or else someday........ someday far ahead, im done.

Current mood : Lost
Currently listening to : Far Away - Nickelback

Run........

The horizon no longer interests me....... nor the green......
I close my eyes..... nothing matters now....... nothing's seen...
Shut to everything, I once held so close....
I rob myself, right under my nose....

I run...... blind
I run...... in no direction
The horizon still distant....
The green, withered.....
I run..... broke
I run..... without purpose......

I run.... not because i love to....
I run.... because i chose to....
Or rather, to stop .... I was scared to

The eyes tempt to open at times.....
But... I dare not open......
For i may wither something i set my eyes on.....

I run blind........
Yet my heart cant stop lookin....
Lookin for the horizon....
Lookin for the greenery....

Current mood : Lost
Currently listening to : Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

Looking beyond

Trying to look beyond the horizon...... curious..... eager.....
The horizon seemed near....
I walk towards it......
I feel Ive neared the horizon................ just a hallucination....
I wiggle my head out of it..... noooooooo, there's still hope...
I wiggle my head again.....
The horizon is again as far as it once used to be....
I look at the greenery around.....
Still thinking twice about the hallucination.... a tingle runs down the spine....
I look at the greenery around.....
Wondering why i didnt see its beauty before.....
Why I havent spent time with it.....
Why I was so engrossed in looking at the distant horizon.....
I look at the greenery around......
The greenery feels to be one with me.....
But I am still lost in thought.....
Slowly.....I begin feeling one with it as well....
But, I stop myself.... still lost in thought....
I look at the greenery around.....

I wiggle my head....... i wiggle my head again......
Doesnt seem to be a hallucination......
I look at the horizon....... not curious...... not eager.......
I look at the greenery around...... greener....
I wiggle my head...... i wiggle my head again..... i wiggle my head yet again......
Half hoping that it is a hallucination....

I look beyond......
This time into the future.....
In it, I am happy with the greenery around......
In it, I look at the horizon...... with regrets.....

I wiggle my head......
Am back to the present.....
Lost in thought........

I wiggle my head..... I wiggle my head again..... vigorously........
...........................................
.............................
...............
.......
I am tired of wigglin my head..............
I wiggle my head.......


Currently listening to : The hardest part - Coldplay
Current mood : Not so lost

Summer Rain

There is something specail about the summer rains..... The sudden chilling drizzles that pop out amidst the tiring heat....... the fresh aroma of the raindrops hittin the earth....... fond memories of previous summer rains, when i was a kid........

But, times have changed..........

I am noticing the cool breeze and the drizzle, sitting in a bus, moving through traffic....... amidst the sound of honking horns......... thinking and planning about life ahead........ thinking abt the stuff to do the next day....... having fun listening to a non-kannadiga friend trying to memorize a kannada statement - "Yenri neevu. Heeg maadidre henge?" (Long story behind why she was actually doing this)..... Unable to enjoy the rain..... but..... the rain still manages to soothe my nerves.

Life is not wat it used to be........ But is still fun!

Currently listening to: Someone teasing someone else. Laughing silently. Feeling to listen to Afterglow-INXS
Current mood: Thinking why i'm not yet tensed with exams just 2 weeks away

Waiting......

Alone.......... in the road of life.....
Waiting for something........ waiting for someone ........
There's greenery around........ yet i look beyond.........
Waiting for something....... waiting for someone........
Ppl have gone ahead....... Im NOT struggling behind......
Im just.... waitin for something...... waiting for someone......


Vini told me that this photo seems to have deeper meaning...... A lonely wanderer looking beyond the greenery, for something unknown. So, modified it to suit what state my life is in right now.

Current mood : Calm and peaceful
Currently listening to : The clickity-click noise of the other ppl typing out stuff in the lab. No songs :(

Overcast

Summer evening........ cool drizzle at a rate of a drop or two a minute....... Sun has set........ twilight....Sipping a cup of lemon tea.......

But the mind is overcast.......... no one to enjoy the drizzle with...... thoughts drowned in darkness..... no search for a ray of light...... the rain just falls and rolls away, failing to cool the already cold self.....

Only the citric tingle is felt........ A surge in salivary secretion dilutes the tingle........... Life goes on...... I take more sips.......... Enjoying the tingle everytime...... But still waiting for something.... something im not sure of..... But the next time will also be yet another citric tingle.......... nothing more........ hopefully nothing less........ But yet i wait for the next sip.......... eager......... even though i know that the saliva will do its job.

Currently listening to : Some crap other ppl are singing around in the lab. No clue wat they r singin. No interest either.
Current mood : Lost.......... trying to find the way back 2 my feet.......... But still lost!

Still Alive! (Most probably)

This post is to remind the blogworld that im still alive..... suffocating... yes, but still alive.

Early Jan, i had gone to Mahabaleshwar, for a seminar on Neuroscience, photos of which are on photos.yahoo.com/i_am_sudhir_p. U can view the other albums there as well. Some pics with some descriptions are also up on my photoblog.

After that, I had to do all work that i had pushed aside 2 go 2 mahabaleshwar..... killing the rest of Jan.... Then, had to roast my neurons into thinking abt an unanswered question in biology, and possible approaches to solving it. This was for applying for Integrated PhD at NCBS. This ate up most of the time in early Feb.... After which, when tryin 2 relax a bit... came the comments of lecturers that i dont attend classes, and that they wudnt let me apply for the final exam.... Got over them with some gimmicks... wasted 1 whole day payin the application fee (for those who live on a better side of the planet : We have to stand in long queues to fill our fees! A shame for a college in silicon valley!)..... And since life always finds a way to pull my leg...., i had to sit and write 4 practical records almost end 2 end. (I still havent completed it though)

Will be goin 2 kerala tomorrow, for performing rites of mom's 1st yr death anniverary. Wil come back with loads of pics.


Currently listening to : In the arms of the angel - Westlife
Current mood : excited (for reasons not evident from the post!)

A year goes by........

........ but it feels that more than a year has passed. Its not that it was boring, but on the contrary, because it was too eventful.

The year started out pretty normally, with a lot of enthu and fun, and someone occupying my thoughts.

But, when life was pretty smooth, on Feb 15, mom died.... rendering me in a strange mode for quite some time. It wasn't the awfully-sad kinda mode.... it was strange...sad although, but strange......plain strange!

Then the camera entered my life........ making life seem positive. I spent my time clickin away at anything and everything..... making me realize the hidden beauty in 'anything and everything'

And the someone-occupying-thoughts thingy happened more oft. During summer however, a fact jolted my 'occupied' state, that the someone occupying my thoughts, was occupying someone else's thoughts too. I had to force the 'someone' to stop occupying my thoughts. Did some strange things to do so, including forcing someone else to occupy the thoughts.

I started socializing more, trying to do away with the geeky image attached to me. Made quite a few new friends. Ppl figured out that I'm not as scary as they thought i was.

I got a bio project at NCBS. But actually desired a Physics project elsewhere. But as things went on, I felt that I wudnt wanna trade my project for anything......... great project......... great place...... great people.

Began feeling nice about the someone who had newly entered my thoughts.... only for some time. But it seemed, it didnt click.... that person had some probs with it..... Later realized that, it was indeed a strange way things were goin on .........Few weeks.... happy to have thoughts being occupied by no one. Then later realized that I was on the right track...... I actually shudnt have anyone in my thoughts........ coz if it clicked, the future of that person wud be pretty drab.

Went on a college trip to Munnar. (Oh! I havent finished my blog post on that yet!) Enjoyed a lot. This would be the last trip of its kind(No more college after this yr). Became a lot more social person as well (Even a 1% is great thing for one who is at 0.237%).

Won quite a lot of prizes at inter-collegiate fests. (Oops! I was supposed to give parties for this.... which I have almost forgotten abt!)

Project at NCBS goes ahead with a lot of zeal. I also read a lot of interesting books........ novels, science, math and all da crap i could lay hands on.

And with the year almost coming to a close, having no sign of anything spectacular at the end, suddenly, there's this heart pricking me, with someone who's occupying the mind again. But, this time, I just push it out before thinking much. The heart does tingle at the thought of the person, but I am more firm this time round. I have decided to stay alone........... not because of kiddish notions, but because of sheer concern towards that person. And i guess it will remain this way from here on!

Overall, a rollercoaster ride........ I dont regret the bad times....... I like the sour tastes that life feeds me....... and I can enjoy it even if there weren't the sweet bits in between.

Wish all of ya a HAPPY NEW YEAR. And wish me another roller-coaster year.....

Current mood: sullen, yet mellow (probably due to a sadistic impulse)
Currently listening to: King of Pain - Sting